20 SOMETHING

She loves me…

or

She loves me not…

Traditionally I avoid picking up bums along the side of the road at all costs, however it’s Thanksgiving at 9 something at night, temperature is 14 degrees Fahrenheit and the ground is covered in a foot of snow.

Part 1 (The pick-up)

• I stopped about 500 ft up the road
• Took a breath
• Pulled a U-turn
• Drove Past Again, scoping him out (but it was dark what was I really to see, lol)
• Pulled another U-turn
• Rolled the window down
• Asked you want a lift (duh he wants a lift, meanwhile my heater is on full blast, I’m wearing a coat and I’m cold)

Part 2 (The open road)

From the moment he got in my car he was pleasant when he was quite. IO screwed up and started to chat, and that got him going on a rant.

Quote on quote, “I just got out of jail for playing a prank on a lady with $60.00 and then a idiot with a badge arrested me and stole my ID. But my bail was like $20 bucks, and I ain’t got no money.” 

I said crazy, and asked how far he wanted to go up the road.

He said “keep going north”

The problem was I was headed south and I told him.

He said “okay just up the road then”

I said okay, made up a story about living in chemult and that I could drop him at the Pilot (a lite truck stop fuel station up the road about 15 miles)

He continued about being an engineer for tents “3 poles verse 4 poles makes a huge difference” blah blah (and he continued)

I said yep and let him continue

Then he said ” a company in the pan handle state, whatever its name has a company that owes me $800,000 for test this here jacket for them” talking about the number of pockets a jacket needs “Is it 2 or 5 or 7” and it was a debate with him self.

He then talked about computers “RAM this RAM that and operating systems”

HE then talked about how sisters police made him leave that  cute little town

He then talked about how…

After it seemed like forever we arived at Pilot and I dropped him off, he then said ” do you happen to have a buck” damn I give him a ride and he wants more.

I do not regret helping him but he was an odd fellow

Happy Thanksgiving 50 year old bum, which has no family, stay warm and get your $800,000 before they go bankrupt from hiring me and all my friends to be coat testers.

For those of you that waste your time in reading this I’m the one who wants the date

What ever happened to flirting, eyes rolling, emotional arousal, and good old dating. Roughly four years ago I meet a very sophisticated, attractive, special person who after 6 months of interactions started dating me. For me that wasn’t enough that she loved and adored me, when she glanced in the direction of another man I became raged with jealousy. Not because I didn’t trust her but because I couldn’t mathematically calculate why a woman so wonderful would ever want to be a part of my life. I am still am not comfortable to this day with myself in the matter of what I bring to the table. The question, what makes me special is unanswered

The cycle is perpetual and is increasing to get worse, every step she takes, the worse it gets. I feel more and more jealous. What the fuck is wrong with me…seriously get a grip man.

Today this woman is done trying, shes exhausted all of her efforts.

I would like to ask for another chance, but I drove her to be unhappy and care to much for her to ever will upon her any sadness.

Darling please follow your dreams

CAN I TOUCH YOU, CAUSALLY?

HAHAHA

NO!